Chapter 82

Inside Brianna's apartment, Jon helped her get her coat off, hung it up in the closet and hung up his own as well. While she went onto the living room, he went into the kitchen. He'd noticed she'd hardly touched her dinner and figured when her emotions calmed down she'd be hungry, so he searched her fridge and cupboards, gathering the fixings for sandwiches.

He carried the sandwiches, a bottle of wine and glasses into the living room and set them on the coffee table. Brianna was standing by the balcony door staring out into the night sky. Her arms were hugging herself, her hands rubbing her upper arms. He turned on the gas fireplace and the stereo before moving to stand behind her and wrapping her in his arms.

Brianna sighed and leaned back against him. "Now you see why I wasn't in any hurry for you to meet him?"

"He wasn't that bad." He was worse!

"Liar."

"Doesn't matter, I can handle it. I've dealt with that condescending attitude before."

"But you shouldn't have to! You've worked very hard to get where you are. You've accomplished so much, made your dreams come true and now you're helping others do the same. You should be applauded, not belittled."

He'd never realized how much her approval and support meant to him until he heard her say the words. Hugging her tighter, he kissed her temple. Dot was always supportive, but in a much quieter way. He kind of liked having his own personal cheerleader. A vision of Brianna in a cheerleader outfit, complete with pom poms popped into his head and he blinked to clear it. Now wasn't the time for play. Unfortunately, his cock hadn't gotten the memo and was gearing up.

As her emotional stress subsided, she shivered and burrowed into his warmth even more. When he eased away, she growled in protest.

Jon chuckled but didn't give in, urging her towards the couch instead. "Come on. We'll be more comfortable on the couch.

When she sat, he pulled the blanket off the back and spread it over her before settling beside her.

Accepting the glass of wine he handed her, Brianna raised a brow at the plate of sandwiches. "We just had dinner, you can't be hungry already."

"I'm not, but you hardly touched your food. You need to eat."

She smiled and snuggled against him. "Yes Daddy."

 "Brat."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the flames dancing in the fireplace.

He stroked her hair soothingly. "Has he always been like that with you?"

"What do you mean? Like what?"

"So....dismissive....of your abilities."

Brianna shrugged. "The only abilities of mine he was interested in was my ability to stay in the background and be an efficient assistant. To know my place."

Even to his unskilled ear, the pain beneath her sarcasm was obvious. "And you just accepted that? This isn't the nineteen fifties anymore."

"Glad you recognize that." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I got tired of the constant battles - my family got tired of them too. As much as my mother and brothers tried, they couldn't change his mind. It didn't help that his cronies all felt the same. It just became.....easier....to let him think he'd converted me to his way of thinking."

"But you're so smart and talented, capable of so much more. He should be proud of that - of you! Not....ashamed! That must have hurt you - to be considered less than your brothers in your father's eyes."

Memories flooded her mind from her childhood, teens and early adulthood. Do well in school, but take home ec, not calculus. Make the lemonade, but leave the running of the roadside stand to the boys. Focus on getting a secretarial diploma or one in business administration would be acceptable, but not an MBA. Be aware of world issues, but don't have opinions on them. Dress  conservatively, speak softly, let the men run the show. Know. Your. Place. It had been pounded into her all her life. Tears of pain and frustration stung her eyes. It was several seconds before she could answer. "It did...does." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry." He hugged her closer. 

"Promise me you won't ever do that to Stephanie. Don't ever make her feel less worthy than her brothers. Don't restrict her options. Don't belittle her dreams. Support her no matter what career path she wants to follow. Promise me."

"I promise." He never seen her so vulnerable. Obviously her strong self confidence was a facade that hid a scarred heart and soul. His protective instincts kicked into high gear. He wanted to tell her father off, buy a company for her to run....whatever it took for her to be happy and fulfilled. He kissed her head. "You deserve so much better than that."

Realizing how much weakness she was showing and despising in, Brianna sat up, shook her head and reached for a sandwich. "I survived."

Nice try Sweetheart, but I've seen behind the curtain to the real you. Beneath the brains, heart and courage is still a lost young girl trying to find her way home. Jersey isn't Kansas, but if you'll let me, I'll be your shelter from the storm.

Startled at his own thoughts - and the direction they were headed - Jon leaned forward to refill his glass and took a healthy swallow as he settled back. Whoa man, too soon to go there.

She mistook his silence for disagreement. "Seriously Blue Eyes, I'm fine. I won't say it was the most pleasant childhood, but it's not like I was starved or beaten. Most people would consider it a privileged childhood."

"Some things are more important than money."

She stared at him and snorted. "Remember that the next time I want to reschedule something because of a family function."

"I'm sure you'll remind me if I forget." And now he understood why she always put the kids activities on his schedule.

Brianna just smiled and cuddled against him again.

The warmth of the fire and the soothing music soon relaxed them both. Brianna tugged up the blanket around her shoulders and yawned. "Are you staying tonight or going home?"

"Staying." Even if he hadn't already planned to, after that dinner with her parents he wasn't about to leave her alone.

"Good."

Staring at the dancing flames, Jon's mind kept going back to his reaction to her pain and frustration. Anyone would feel sympathy and understanding for the mindset she had to deal with growing up, but he recognized his visceral reaction as something more. Something....deeper, more personal. The need to protect her and cherish her was strong. The word love kept popping into his head.

But it was too soon for that wasn't it? Did he really love her or did he just not want to be alone? Dating was one thing, but falling in love? He wasn't sure he was ready for that. Wouldn't that mean casting aside his feelings for his wife? Sure, Dorothea said she wanted him to move on, but to give his love to someone else so quickly? Wouldn't that cheapen his love for Dorothea?

He sighed and reminded himself he didn't have to make any declarations today. He could wait until he was sure and had sorted it all out in his own mind.

"Mmmm." Brianna sighed and shifted her position.

Realizing she was more asleep than awake, Jon smiled and kissed her head. "Come on Golden Eyes, time for bed."

She frowned, but let him prod her into the bedroom where she stripped off her clothes and slid into bed without bothering with a nightgown. With him sharing her bed she was in no danger of getting cold.  Jon grinned, turned off the lights and fireplace, undressed and climbed in beside her.

He woke to find her facing him, her hands tucked under her chin, her legs entwined with his. A lock of hair had fallen over one eye and he reached out to move it, enjoying the feel of the silky tresses sliding along the sensitive skin of sides of his fingers. 

She wasn't the only one who enjoyed textures. The smoothness of her skin, the velvet of her lips, the hot satin of her core all constantly lured his fingers to touch. So he let them.

Brianna was pulled from sleep by the light scrape of his callouses over her skin, stirring the embers of her desire. She kept her eyes closed and just enjoyed the sensations. Her body responded to his touch like it had to no other man she'd ever been close to. Goosebumps rose on her skin, her breathing quickly became laboured, her heart rate increased, her nipples hardened and the flesh between her thighs swelled and dampened to welcome his possession.

Jon noticed all of this almost absently. His attention was focused on her face. He knew she was awake even without the evidence displayed by her body. He could sense it. When he brushed his finger over her lips and they opened in invitation, he accepted, shifting to touch his mouth to hers in a gentle, chaste kiss. Leaning back, he sent his hands roaming again.

Brianna opened her eyes and searched his face. The expression in his eyes made the breath catch in her chest. It was a look she'd only seen a handful of times before in her life and not for a very long time. It was more than lust. It was something...deeper...more intimate. Like he was wanted more than just her body. He wanted her. That matched the message his hands sent with the way they stroked and caressed her: like he cherished her.

Her mind skittered away from the L word....it was too soon to even think that way, especially for him. She had no doubt that he cared about her, but she also had no doubt that it would be quite some time before he would allow himself to love again. The guilt he would feel right now would be almost overwhelming. In time he would get there, but she had no illusions about it happening soon.

She lifted her hands to frame his face and stroke her thumbs over his cheek bones. With a gentle smile she lifted her head to kiss him lightly. His hand on her hip pulled her closer and lifted her knee until her leg draped over his hip. She could feel his hardness pulsing against her slit.

Eyes locked on her face, Jon rocked his hips against hers, feeling the liquid heat of her desire scald the sensitive skin of his erection. His breath hissed through his teeth.

Moaning softly, Brianna tilted her hips towards him, encouraging him to enter her. Her hands slid down to stroke his chest.

Jon got her message, and for once didn't torture her - partly because inside her was where he wanted to be, but mostly because this encounter was all about pleasing her and showing her how much he cared. He could have his turn next time. Shifting slightly, he found her entrance and watched her eyes grow brighter as he slid slowly home.

Her fingers curled, nails biting into his pecs in helpless response to the rush of pleasure flooding her senses at his invasion. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip in an effort to hold back her cries.

Bending his head slightly, he licked the indentations her teeth left in the soft flesh. Their position didn't give him much leverage to thrust, so he rocked against her. His hands cupped and caressed her breasts, strong fingers tweaking her stiffened nipples. He swallowed her gasp.

Brianna's hips matched his rhythm, and their desire quickly grew. Their lips and tongues touched briefly, softly, almost absently, their attention focused on the joining of their lower bodies.

Her world shrank until it was only this bed, the two of them, mouths and hands touching, their bodies moving together easily, rhythmically, riding the waves of their rising passion. She stared into his eyes, and in those cobalt depths she sensed a connection beyond the physical. Beyond the emotional. To call it spiritual was a little corny, but it was the only way she knew to describe it. This wasn't sex. This was making love. In the fullest meaning of the word. At this time, for this moment, they were completely in sync. She'd never experienced that before - ever. She couldn't look away. She didn't want to lose that connection.

Despite the gentleness of his movements, she sensed the tidal wave building inside her could drown her and wash her away. Her hands gripped him tighter.

Jon touched his lips to hers again and pulled her closer. "It's okay. Let go. I've got you." The glowing of her golden eyes told him she was close. "Let go Golden Eyes. Ride the wave. I.....I've got you."

He was was going to say something else, she was almost sure of it....and her heart lurched. No! Don't say it. Not yet. She wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

But she had no time to contemplate their emotional situation. The physical took over and the wave she was riding crested and crashed over her, taking her wits and he breath with it. She clung to him, her anchor, her safety line.

Jon wrapped his arms around her shaking body, his own trembling with the force of his release as the wave took him too.

Brianna buried her face in his neck. When her spasms faded and she could breathe again, she kissed his sweat dampened skin. "Thank you."

"For what?" He was pretty sure she wasn't talking about their lovemaking.

For not saying the L word. "For not running away after meeting my father."

He squeezed her and stroked her back. "You know me well enough to know I wouldn't let a few snobby comments stop me from going after something I want." He leaned back to let her see the truth of his words in his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled, snuggled closer and let his assurance and nearness soothe her to sleep.