Chapter 49

The rest of the tour ping-ponged back and forth from New Jersey. Aside from Chicago and Boston, they made it home every night - much to Brianna's relief. It made it much easier to avoid temptation. As much as Dot and Jon kept telling her their being together was fine, it still didn't sit well with her.

Part of her was thankful that the tour was almost over, but she dreaded what was coming. Dorothea was starting to fail more quickly. Walking was becoming more and more difficult and they were talking about bringing in a hospital bed. Brianna was afraid she wouldn't last a whole lot longer.

Walking into her hotel room in Boston after the show, Brianna looked at the connecting door and sighed. It was their last night on the road, and she was afraid Jon would want to spend one last night together before the tour was over. There was only the last show at Giants Stadium the day after tomorrow left. After Florida, they'd managed to control their urges, and Brianna wanted to keep it that way. Rather than have yet another 'discussion' on the subject, it was easier to avoid him and difficult situations.

With that thought in mind, she grabbed her purse and room key and headed downstairs to the bar. Remembering what happened in Japan, she ordered a glass of wine and some chicken wings. A few minutes later the murmur of the crowd - and a familiar security guard - warned her that at least one of the guys had walked in. She waited to see if they'd find her.

"Hey Beautiful." David slid into the chair beside her. "What brings you down here? Having trouble winding down? Or avoiding your boss?"

She shrugged. "Take your pick."

"I thought after that loud steamy night in Florida you two had come to an agreement and accepted Dot's free pass."

Brianna grimaced. "That was to work him out of my system."

"What are you going to do now that that didn't work?"

Her brows rose. "How do you know it didn't?"

"I've been watching both of you. You're avoiding him as much as possible and it's making him frustrated - and feeling guilty about it. Not to mention the air fairly sizzles with sexual tension whenever the two of you are in the same room." He fanned himself with his hand.

Brianna snorted and sighed. "This whole situation is a mess."

He studied her face. "Why do I get the feeling you're talking about more than a little fun between the sheets with Boo Boo?"

His choice of words made it sound even more sordid. She sighed again. "That's the biggest part of it, but..."

When her voice trailed off David reached over and squeezed her hand. "Come on Beautiful, you know you can trust me. Tell me. Maybe I can help."

"I'm in way over my head here Lemma. This is so much more than what I signed on for."

"You don't like the job?"

"I love the job - as his assistant. It's the 'personal' side of it that's becoming a little overwhelming." She shook her head sadly. "I'm not a grief counsellor. I'm not trained to deal with this. I'm not the right person for this. I'm not what he...they need."

The tears in her eyes got to him and he slid an arm around her shoulders to hug her. "You're a considerate, caring woman, who is doing what you can to help a family through a horrible time. You're helping a dying mother record memories for her children. You're helping to ensure those children are fed and cared for, and have someone to talk to when they need to. You're helping a man keep his businesses going while he tries to cope with losing his wife. And you're also helping him keep his sanity. You're being someone he can rely on and lean on when he needs to. There is no training for that. It's pure instinct. You are proving yourself the right person for the job. You're exactly what they need. And you're doing a great job."

"At the expense of my values and beliefs!" And the suspension of my life! She grimaced. "That sounds selfish doesn't it? With everything they're dealing with I'm moaning about how it's it affecting me. But.....it's becoming my life too. I spend almost all of my time with him and his family. It's not right. I shouldn't be there! This is a painful, private, family time. They don't need strangers invading their space at a time like this."

She closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Am I a horrible person for wanting some 'me' time? A little time away from......everything?"

"Horrible? No. Human? Yes. And you should have some time on your own. You need to find a balance or you'll burn out. We found that out during the New Jersey tour. If you want, I'll talk to Jon and remind him of what happens when you don't take time out for yourself."

Before she could respond, the murmur of the crowd rose in volume and they could see a dark head coming towards them. Brianna sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Hey!" Richie sat down and looked back and forth between them. "Everything okay? Am I interrupting?"

"No," Brianna shook her head. "Everything's fine. I'm just tired."

"Glad the tour's almost over?"

"Yeah, although it's been a good distraction."

Richie grimaced. "How's Dot doing?"

"She's failing. I have a feeling it's not going to be a whole lot longer. "

They sat in silence for several minutes, then turned the conversation to more pleasant subjects.

Half an hour later, Brianna stood up. "Well gentlemen, it's been fun, but I need to get some sleep."

"Night Beautiful, sleep well."

"See you in the morning."

David entered his room, more than ready for bed, although his conversation with Brianna kept running through his head. He'd warned Dot that her 'plan' might blow up in her face, but he hadn't foreseen the depth of the distress it would cause Brianna.

Slowly undoing and removing his shirt, he tried to think of a way he could help her. A knock on his door broke his concentration and he went to answer it. He wasn't totally surprised to see Jon on the other side. A wry smile curved his lips. "Having trouble winding down or avoiding your assistant?"

"Take your pick." Jon grumbled, pushing by his bandmate to enter the room and take a seat on the couch. He needed to talk to someone and David was the only one who knew the whole picture. He leaned his head back and sighed. "This whole situation is a mess."

Holy déjà vu Batman! David blinked at hearing the exact same words for the second time that evening.  "So Brianna tells me."

Jon's eyes flew open. "She talked to you about it?"

"I ran into her in the bar downstairs....looking pretty much like you do right now."

"And of course you got her to spill her guts." He ignored the fact that he was in David’s room to do exactly that.

"You know how good I am at that." David chuckled. "I just loaned her my shoulder and my ear." He studied his friend. "She needs a break from all of this Kidd. It's overwhelming her." He used the old nickname on purpose to remind his friend of their own overwhelming time.

Jon considered that for a moment. "Is it me or Dot?"

"It's everything. Dot's illness and being pulled into an intense family crisis, you and this crazy free pass plan that goes against everything she believes in but neither one of you can seem to resist, all while trying to learn a new job and travelling all over the world."

"Wow." Jon had never thought about everything Brianna was having to deal with like that. He raked a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. I'm surprised she hasn't quit and walked away."

Jon shook his head. "She wouldn't do that. She's stronger than that."

"Even the strongest people have a breaking point. We should know. We've been there."

Jon sighed. "Does she want out?"

"No, she just needs some time off - from all of it. A few days to rest and recharge."

"Why didn't she talk to me about this?"

"She probably will when the tour ends. She didn't ask me to talk to you." David admitted. "Plus, when you two get near each other there's too much guilt and hormones flying around to have a rational discussion about it."

There was too much truth in David's statement for Jon to argue. He grimaced. "I've never had a problem controlling myself before - when I chose to. What is it about her I can't resist?"

"I don't know, maybe because she's beautiful, sexy, smart, caring and extremely competent? Oh and you have your wife's blessing to fuck her brains out?" David sobered. "And she can distract you from what's going on with Dot."

Jon stared at him. "That sounded like a Dr. Sambora answer."

David shrugged. "You don't have to study psychology to see what's going on here."

"But obviously it's too much to ask of Bri. I know her guilt is eating her up, no matter how much we all try to convince her that she doesn't need to feel guilty." He frowned. "I don't like what this is doing to her. It's not fair to her. But....I don't want to lose her too."

At David's look he raised his brows. "What?"

"Do you have feelings....romantic...feelings for Brianna?"

"No! Of course not. You just finished telling me how 'extremely competent' she is. She's the best assistant I've ever had. I don't want to lose that."

"And is that the only reason?"

"The kids like her. Especially Jake. I think he's in love with her."

I think his father's heading down that road too. "Whatever, I don't think you'll lose her. She just needs some time off. She'll come back. She'll be there when you need her. Just give her a few days off after the tour to take care of herself, then she'll be in better shape to help you and the family."

Jon just nodded.....and prayed he was right.