Chapter 57

 "How are things going?" Sara called to ask her daughter.

"About as well as can be expected I guess." Brianna replied. "The older kids are back in school. Jon's not doing any work yet." He wasn't doing much of anything, actually. He got up and took the kids to school and then she often wouldn't see him again until dinner. Busy with the house and Romeo, she didn't disturb him. She let him grieve in private. "They're trying to figure out a new routine."

"So, what are you doing?"

Brianna could hear the frown in her mother's voice. "Looking after the house, helping the kids.....whatever they need."

"Be careful there honey."

"What do you mean?"

"She means think about what you want and act accordingly." Her father's voice came down the line. She hadn't realized he was listening on the extension.

"Now you've really lost me. What are you talking about?"

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"For God's sake Father! He just lost his wife!"

He grunted. "That means he's available."

"And grieving!" Sara interjected. "It may be a long time before he's ready for a relationship."

"But he'll take what's handy and available."

"Edward!"

"I'm just being honest. Brianna, you need to decide whether you want to be his assistant or his wife. Because you can't be both and do an acceptable job. And if you want either to be long term you need to get out of his house. If he sees you as his plaything, ready and available to satisfy his physical needs, he won't respect you as an assistant or visualize you as a permanent life partner."

Brianna could feel her face burning. And he wasn't finished.

"And you living in his house makes you too handy. I didn't raise my daughter to be any man's..."

"Edward!"

"....toy." He finished.

"Father really!" Brianna couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Your father has a point about you living in his house Brianna. While it gives you the inside track, it may also make him take you for granted, or see you as a housekeeper and a nanny. You want him to choose you because he wants and loves you, not because it's the easy solution and he doesn't have to work for it. That's just two people sharing space, not sharing a life."

"Mom....." She didn't know how to respond. "I don't even know why we're talking about this."

"You can act as horrified and indignant as you want, but I noticed that not once have you said you didn't have feelings for him."

"Of course I have feelings for him! He's my boss, a good man and he just lost his wife."

"Romantic feelings." Her mother clarified.

"Arrrg!" Brianna growled in frustration. She couldn't identify her feelings for Jon to herself, she certainly wasn't prepared to explain them to her parents. "I've got to go."

"Remember what I said Brianna." Her father instructed. "Decide what you want your future to be, and behave appropriately. Don't let me down."

"Yes sir, I'll remember." Hanging up, Brianna clenched her fists in her hair. "Arrrrgh!"

"What wong Bianna?" Jake asked from the open doorway to her room.

"Oh nothing. My dad's just being..." She debated what to say to a four year old, then remembered what he'd called Jesse the day before. "...a doodie head."

"Oh, yeah." He glanced down the hallway towards his father's bedroom. "Dat not fun."

She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Getting up, she hugged him. "You ready for your bath?"

"Uh huh." He nodded. "I can have cookie after?"

"Yes, my little Cookie Monster."

Jake giggled as he followed her down the hallway.

Jon leaned back his head and turned his chair to look out the window at the Navesink flowing by and disappearing out of sight in the twilight, wishing he could go with it.

Lethargy dragged at him. Every movement was an effort. He knew he should be going over the correspondence Brianna had prepared for his signature and the Soul Foundation projects that needed his input and approval, but he couldn't summon the interest. What did he need to do it for anyway? He had more than enough money for him and the kids to live on for the rest of their lives. What was the point?

The echo of Romeo's giggles coming from the living room made him smile sadly. He should be spending more time interacting with his children, but he didn't have the energy. Thankfully, Brianna was there to take care of their needs. They needed her more than they needed him.

All he really wanted to do was sleep. It was like all his years on the road, running all over the world had caught up with him. He'd never felt so exhausted.

Dragging himself out of the chair with a sigh, he walked slowly towards the living room. He stopped in the doorway to take in the sight. Brianna was sitting on the floor playing with trains and blocks with Jake and Romeo, while at the same time helping Steph and Jesse with their homework.

Just like Dorothea used to do.

God I miss her! The stab of pain was sharp and as fresh as the day she died.

"Daddy! You come pay wif us?" Jake pleaded, catching sight of him in the doorway.

"Not tonight buddy. Daddy's going to bed." He felt guilty, but they didn't really need him. Brianna would take care of them.

They watched him pass through the room, varying degrees of concern on their faces.

"What wong wif Daddy?" Jake asked Brianna.

"He's just tired and sad. He misses your Mommy, just like you guys." Brianna answered reassuringly, hiding her own concern.

"I'm a little worried." She confided to Carol the next day. "He's not doing any work, he barely eats and other than taking the kids to school, he doesn't interact with them much. He doesn't do much of anything other than sleep. I know he's grieving, but...."

Carol frowned. "Maybe we're doing too much for him. Maybe we need to make him feel more useful....needed."

Brianna thought about that for a long minute, a few of her parents’ words echoing in her head. "I think maybe I should go home to New York. If I'm not here, Jon will have to put out more of an effort with the kids. I don't want the kids to feel like I'm abandoning them, but some time without me around may be the best for them in the long run. Give them and Jon a chance to settle into their new routine without me around interfering."

"You've been a godsend, not an interference, but I know what you're saying." Carol considered for several minutes, then sighed. "You may be right. It might give him the kick in the pants he needs to pull himself out of the pit of grief and self pity he's wallowing in and be a father to his children."

"I'll plan to leave by the end of the week."

Easier said than done.

Brianna sat down with Stephanie and Jesse and explained what she was doing, assuring them she wasn't abandoning them and they could call her anytime, for any reason. 

When she told Jon she was going to the office in the city to catch up on some work, he just nodded, never taking his gaze from the view outside his office window.

Jake was a different story. The bottom lip came out and quivered. Two fat tears overflowed his eyes and ran down his cheeks."You weavin? But.....why? You pwomised you wouldn't weave!"

"It's not forever." Brianna assured him. "It's just for a little while. I'll be back."

But Jake wasn't buying it. Stomping up the stairs, he threw her a hurt scowl. The slamming of his bedroom door echoed down to the foyer.

Brianna sighed.

"He'll be okay. You're doing for him...and his brothers and sister." Carol assured her.

Mentally, she knew that, but emotionally, driving away from that house - and it occupants - was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

Two weeks later, Carol was at the end of her rope. Instead of stepping up and becoming more involved with his family, Jon had shut down completely. At this point, he wasn't even getting out of bed. She'd tried everything she could think of, but nothing worked. She had no idea what to do next.

When David stopped by to see how things were going, Carol was only too happy to fill him in. "I'm at a loss David. I don't know what to do. Do you have any ideas on how to help him?"

David sighed, a conversation he'd had with Dorothea as her health had declined came back to him.

"Jon will react one of two ways. He may lock his grief away and basically act like nothing happened. The upside to that is that he'll function okay and be there for the kids. The downside is that he'll take a long time to heal and move on. But you won't have to do anything, he'll come around eventually."

"And what's the other possibility?" David had a feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.

"He'll allow his grief to consume him and shut down completely."

"And what do we do if that happens?"

"If that happens, it's time for tough love."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Brianna knows. She'll take care of it."

"Can I help her?"

Dorothea shook her head. "No. She has to do it alone. But the rest of you need to back off and let her. It will sound loud, mean and nasty, but stay out of it and let her do what needs to be done. For Jon. For my family."

David patted Carol's hand. "Yes, I do." Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. She answered on the third ring. "Hi Beautiful. I'm afraid it's time to put Operation Tough Love into motion.”