Chapter 27

The next few weeks of the tour were beyond busy for Brianna. Between her regular duties, spending her at home days in Red Bank transcribing Dorothea's memories and trying to keep up with Jon's roller coaster mood swings, she was physically and mentally exhausted.

"You okay Beautiful? You're looking a little pale." David stood behind her chair in catering, set his hands on her shoulders and massaged gently. "Wow. You're really tight." He rubbed harder. 

"Mmmmm. I'm fine, just tired." She closed her eyes as his strong fingers worked out knots. "I was going to try to find some time for a massage in the spa at the hotel, but maybe I should just book some time with you!"

He chuckled. "Anytime."

"God that feels good! Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"Hours of piano practice. An old girlfriend said she thought this was an even better use of the strong fingers I developed."

"Mmmmmm. I can see why she said that."

A few minutes later Jon came in and headed for the coffee.

Brianna stood. "Oh! Jon, I...."

"Not now." It wasn't quite a growl, but it was close.

Great. Dorothea must be having a bad day. "I just..."

"For fucks sake! Can't I have a fucking cup of coffee in peace? Every time I turn around you're there! Can't you just leave me alone for five fucking minutes?!"

Without a word, Brianna spun on her heel and left the room, tears brought on more from exhaustion than hurt feelings burning her eyes.

David saw the telltale shininess and frowned at his bandmate. "What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. She's busting her ass for you. Why are you being such a prick to her?"

"I'm not." Jon argued.

"You are! She's running all over, catering to your every whim - at all hours of the day and night from what I hear - and all you ever do is yell at her."

"I don't!"

"You do." Richie had passed Brianna in the hallway, noted her distress and entered the room in time to hear David's last comment. "It doesn't seem to matter what she does, you yell at her. I thought you said she was doing a good job."

"She is."

"Then why are you being such an asshole?" Richie shook his head. "What's going on with you man? We all know you're intense and a little moody, but give the girl a break."

"Nothing's going on." He slammed his cup down. "Jesus! Why does everyone around me feel like they have the right to stick their noses in my business?"

"Well forgive the fuck out of us for being concerned about you!" David sneered. "You want us to leave you alone? Fine! We can do that."

The raised voices echoing down the hallway had Brianna stopping and turning around. "Shit!" She knew this was going to happen! She knew the guys weren't going to ignore Jon's behavior forever. Sooner or later, somebody was going to snap.  Looked like sooner had arrived.

She reached the door at the same time as Tico who'd come from the other direction, drawn by his band mates' angry voices.

"What's going on?"

Brianna shrugged. "I don't know, but we need to break it up."

"Careful nina, you don't want to get caught in the crossfire." He stepped through the doorway. "That's my job."

"You've turned into a pompous prima donna!" David and Jon were standing nose to nose - or at least within an inch or two.

Jon snorted. "Don't forget, if it wasn't for me, you'd be...."

"Stop it!" Brianna pushed her way between them. "Stop it before you both say things you'll regret and can't take back!"

David's expression softened as he shifted his gaze to her. "You don't have to put up with his abuse you know. You don't deserve it."

"I don't abuse her!" Jon stepped closer again.

"I've seen it!" David stepped forward too.

"Fuck you!"

Feeling rather like a piece of meat in a sandwich, Brianna pushed them both back again. "I said stop it!" She blew out a frustrated breath. "Come on! You guys have been friends for too long......been through too much....to fight over....me!" She set a hand on David's chest. "I appreciate your concern, really, but I'm fine. Jon's not abusing me. He's not hurting me in any way." If they only knew the one in pain, was him!

"Then why we're you crying a few minutes ago?" Richie spoke up.

"Because I'm exhausted. Believe me, if he was abusing me, or treated me in any way I found unacceptable, I'd be gone faster than the panties of the groupies waiting outside your dressing room door in the 80s."

Richie's lips twitched, but he refused to be distracted. "You may be willing to accept it, but that doesn't excuse the way he's acting." His eyes caught Jon's. "Not cool man."

Brianna could feel Jon tense even more at her back. "Tico!"

But Tico wasn't prepared to cut Jon any slack and shook his head. "I know you're trying to do your job and protect him mija, but Rich is right. He's being an asshole and it's gotta stop."

Obie stepped into the room, seemingly oblivious to the tension. "Jon, I need you to come out to the sound board. We've made a few changes to the lighting and I need your opinion." It was a lame excuse, but it worked.

With a curt nod, Jon followed him out the door.

"This isn't finished!" David called after him.

Brianna blew out a relieved breath and tried to think of a way to end the fight before irreparable damage was done, without revealing things she shouldn't. "Guys, please just let it go."

David shook his head. "Not until he tells us what the fuck is going on with him."

"And apologizes to you." Tico added.

"And starts treating you decently." Was Richie's stipulation.

"It doesn't bother me, really. I've dealt with worse." She tried again.

"It bothers us." Tico ended the discussion.

Jon finally tracked Brianna down in his quick change area under the stage, checking his supplies. The arena was empty and silent. The crew was finished and grabbing a bite to eat while they could, and the doors wouldn't open to the public for another hour or so.

He sank into the chair and watched her. "I'm not abusing you....am I?"

"Of course not."

"Don't give me an employee's answer, be honest. Obviously the guys are seeing something. I haven't seen them that pissed at me in a long time."

Brianna leaned against the table and studied his face, debating how much honesty he could handle – and not fire her. "I wouldn't call it abusive. You're short-tempered and demanding, but it's nothing I can't handle."

He grimaced. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't. I knew when Dorothea told me about her illness and asked me to look after you that this was going to happen. I understand, and I don't take it personally. I'm happy to do what I can to help. And at least you usually only blow up at me and not the unsuspecting crew." She paused. "The guys would understand too, if they knew." Jon started to shake his head, but she wasn't finished. "I know that you don't want to tell them. I know that this is your last bastion of peace where you can escape the reality of what's happening at home for a little while."

At his surprised look, she smiled wryly. "As you pointed out earlier, I've been spending a lot of time close to you - and your wife - lately. I have some idea of what you're going through....and how your mind works." She sighed. "Jon…you're dealing with one of the worst things a man will ever have to go through in his life. But you don't have to be the macho tough guy and try to cope all alone. No one does - it's too hard." She paused then, encouraged that he was actually listening to her, continued. "The guys are going to find out sooner or later - the next time they see the kids if not sooner. As adorable as Jake is, he can't keep a secret to save his life."

Jon had to smile at that - she was right. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Wouldn't it be better if they found out from you first?"

He frowned down at his hands. He was feeling cornered and didn't like it. His instinctive reaction when being pushed in a direction he didn’t want to go – even if it was the right one – was to push back. But Brianna had already had to deal with enough of his bad temper.

Voices of approaching crew members kept them quiet.

"Anyone know where Jon is?"

"Probably with his ‘personal assistant’." The air quotes around her job title were obvious in his tone of voice.

"I can just imagine what she 'assists' him with."

"Lucky bastard. I wouldn't mind her 'assisting' me."

"You'd think he'd be in a better mood though."

"Mmmmm. Good point."

The voices faded as the men moved off .

Brianna frowned, and Jon wondered if it was because the crew obviously thought they were sleeping together....or because they were questioning if she was any good. He raised a brow at her.

Brianna rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Think about what I said." She stood. "Do you need anything?"

"No. Go on and eat." He had some thinking to do.

After she left, he stared up at the picture of Frank Sinatra above the table. The idea that Brianna understood him so well was scary as hell.....yet also oddly comforting. The worst part was she had a point. Maybe more than one. He hadn't realized he was being so hard on her. As much as he appreciated her help, that wasn't fair to her. David was right, she didn't deserve it.

David. Wow. He hadn't seen David that pissed at him in a long time. He thought punches were going to be thrown. Tico looked like he couldn't decide whether to break it up, or throw a few punches of his own. Even Richie had lost his laid back attitude. All of it in defence of Brianna.  Apparently his assistant had wormed her way under their protective shield.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he would have to acknowledge that Brianna wasn't the only reason his friends were pissed at him. They knew something was wrong and the fact that he locked them out only added fuel to the fire. They shared everything - and not only because they spent more time with each other than with their families most years.

Dorothea warned him this would happen when he rejected her pleas to tell his band mates. And now Brianna was warning him he would cause further damage to their friendship - their brotherhood - if he didn't tell them before they heard it from someone else. But this is too personal! Then he thought about how he would feel if one of the others kept something this important from him....and grimaced. His withholding would seem like a betrayal to them.

Sighing, he stood and stepped through the curtain. As he made his way out from under the stage, he wondered how the women in his life could be right every fucking time!