Chapter 23

The call came in the middle of an interview - thankfully the last one of the day. As soon as she saw Dorothea's name on her phone Brianna headed out of the crowded room, a cobalt blue gaze burning into her back.

"Hello?"

"Brianna, it's..." She had to stop when her voice broke.

"Dorothea? Are you alright?" She could hear ragged breathing and her stomach sank. "Hang on, I'll get Jon."

"NO! Just.....just give me a second."

Brianna waited silently until Dorothea was able to bring herself back under control. "Are you sure you don't want me to get Jon so that you can talk to him?"

"No. I'm not ready to talk to him yet. I.....I can't tell him. I'm not ready to deal with his reaction just yet." She sighed. "The treatments didn't work. The tumour's still too big to operate and it's spreading again. They...." Her voice broke again. "They say I have a year.....tops."

Brianna walked around the corner, closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. Oh God! "Dorothea I'm so sorry!" What the hell do I say? "Is there...what can I do to help you?"

"I need you to be there for Jon.” Dorothea sucked in a ragged breath. "He's going to need someone to lean on, someone he trusts. I'm going to try to get him to tell the guys, but in the meantime, I'm afraid you're it. Bri.....oh God Bri! How do I tell him? How to I find the words? How do I tell him that our nightmare is coming true?" The question ended on a sob.

Brianna struggled to bring her own tears under control and found herself facing a similar question. What could she say to comfort a woman who was just told she was dying? She followed her mother’s advice and let her instincts guide her words. “You’ll know. When you hear his voice, you’ll know. Your heart will tell you what to say.” She considered for a moment. “Although you probably won’t have to. He’ll know when he hears your voice.”

“And then what? What do we do now? I….I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. You cry together, when he gets home you hold each other…and then you make the most of the time you have left.” She paused. She could only imagine how difficult it would be to tell devastating news to the person you’d shared the last 20 years of your life with. “He 's going to want - need - to talk to you. Are you at home?"

"No, Carol and John are with the kids. I......I need some time by myself......to think about what needs to be done now.....and how to tell my children."

Tears ran down Brianna's face at the thought of those wonderful children losing their mother.

Dorothea cleared her throat. "Tell Jon to call me on my cell. And Bri.....take care of him for me."

"I'll do my best. Take care Dorothea."

"Thanks."

Hanging up, Brianna leaned against the wall and let the tears flow. She had to get the worst of it out of her system before she faced Jon.

Jon.

How will he handle learning that the love of his life is going to die....much sooner than anyone would have thought....or wanted? This was turning out to be the toughest job she'd ever had.

Footsteps on the tiled floor drew her gaze to the main hallway in time to see the reporter pass by on his way out, telling her the interview was over. Sucking in a deep breath she blew it out. Before she could move, she heard him.

"BRI! Where are you? BRI! Dammit, you promised! BRI!"

She stepped out and around the corner. "I'm here."

Jon took one look at her face and started shaking his head. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest and the air from his lungs. "No." It was a whisper....all he could manage.

"I'm sorry." Brianna stepped closer and reached out a hand. "Jon..."

"No, no, no, no, no NO! FUCK!" He slammed his fist against the wall, brushed by her and stormed off.

Mike, the head of security stuck his head out of a door down the hallway and raised a brow. "Everything okay?"

Brianna gestured in the direction Jon had disappeared. "Can you keep an eye on him? But not too close. Give him some space, just make sure he doesn't run into trouble."

Mike nodded. "Got it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Inside the interview room, Jon's raised voice had been clearly heard - first calling for Brianna, then the cursing. His band mates exchanged glances.

"What now?" Richie wondered.

When the door opened to admit Brianna, her eyes red rimmed and puffy, David jumped to his feet. "That's it! What the fuck is his problem? He needs an attitude adjustment and I'm ready to give it to him!"

Brianna grabbed his arms when he headed for the door. "David no! Don't."

He looked down at her and patted the hand on his arm. "Your loyalty is commendable, but he's crossed the line from prima donna to abuser and I won't stand for it. I can't continue to just sit silently on the sidelines while he treats you like a doormat to wipe his feet on. I don't know what crawled up his ass and died, but it's time he buried it and stopped being an asshole!"

"David please!" She tightened her grip on his arm. "He wasn't yelling at me, just reacting to some news I had to pass on to him."

"You've been crying."

"Yes, but not because of him. I.....stubbed my toe and it hurt like a bitch."

David didn't look convinced. She squeezed his arm again. "I appreciate your concern, really, but I'm fine. I've dealt with tougher bosses than Jon." She stared into his eyes. "Please David, I assure you I'm fine. Let it go. For me."

A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he finally sighed and gave in. "Okay...for now. But if he doesn't knock it off and start treating you decently, he and I are going to have words!"

Brianna smile and stepped closer to hug him. "Thank you for caring."

Out in the parking garage, Jon lit up a cigarette he’d bummed off a roadie and tried to wrap his mind around the idea that his worst nightmare seemed to be coming true. How am I going to live without her? Blowing out a stream of smoke he covered his eyes with the heels of his hands and sank down to sit on the concrete.

Finally gathering his courage, he sat up and pulled out his phone. He wasn't sure where to contact her, but he didn't want to risk one of the kids answering the house phone so he chose her cell.

Her voice was quiet, but calm. "Hey,"

"Hey." For the first time since he'd first laid eyes on her all those years ago in high school, he was at a loss for what to say to her.

“The doctor said….”

“Shh…I know.”

Relieved she didn’t have to say the words, she sighed sadly. "I'm sorry Johnny."

So am I baby. "Shhh...don't Dotty. You've got nothing to be sorry for. If anyone does, it's me. I should have stayed home more, I should have been there with you....for you more. I.."

"Johnny stop. Don't beat yourself up. We've had a good life together. If you had done anything differently you wouldn't be the man I love."

He took another drag and struggled to hold himself together. "How long?" He dreaded the answer but needed to know.

"Maybe a year if we’re lucky."

"Oh God!" His throat closed and the tears started.

"Hey, hey, it'll be okay...you'll be okay."

Jon snorted. "How will anything ever be okay again? I need you Dotty."

Dorothea closed her eyes, his pain harder to take than her own. "We'll figure it out. We'll talk about it when you get home."

"I should have cancelled the tour."

There was no point arguing about that now. "We didn't know this was going to happen."

"I'll cancel everything after this leg."

"You know you can't do that. Too many people will be affected. And you'll need it to help you cope." She hesitated. "You need to tell the guys."

"Not yet. I need some time."

Dorothea didn't argue. She understood how he felt. "Okay, but don't leave it too long. It's not fair....to anyone."

They were silent for a few minutes.

"I wish I was there to hold you."

She choked back her tears. "So do I baby, so do I."

The sound of someone clearing their throat had Jon looking around. Mike stood several feet away and pointed to his watch. "I gotta go to work baby. I'll call you after the show...unless you'd rather rest,"

"No, call me. Whatever time, I don't care." She needed to hear his voice more than she needed sleep. She'd be getting nothing but sleep all too soon. "Have a good show. I love you."

"I love you too baby. More than I can ever tell you."

Taking a few seconds to pull himself back under control, he stood and headed back inside. Mike followed but wisely said nothing. Whatever was going on was obviously intensely personal.